Long Live Nugs
by LadyBek
Summary: Solas takes a trip to Jurassic Park to see the latest petting zoo animal. Pretty much just crack


_**/AN/**_

 _ **Hi! Just a quick thing I wrote. I didn't know how to end it so here you go. I hope you enjoy this random one-shot!**_

In Solas' age, there were dragons. He did not buy tickets to see them, either. He followed Inquisitors and Divines alike to fight and slay beasts with scales and fire-breath. His weapons were magic and courage. The latter always stronger than the former.

Solas had watched, with his own eyes and through the Fade, as the world grew and advanced its own technology. New creatures and civilizations were found. Sciences were discovered while old gods were forgotten. Fen'Harel, Mythal, Thor, Olgun; they were all pushed aside and trampled to make room for science.

The latest trend was dinosaurs. Jurassic World, the theme park, offered safe danger and familiar mystery. There were no dragons, as he knew them, but there were creatures and beasts enough to make his head spin.

The ferry and trams Solas took to arrive at the theme park were filled with people of all sorts, each either delighted to be visiting or long ago disenchanted by the engineering of life itself. Several people aboard the tram were holding clipboards and typing rapidly at tablets, simultaneously making notes and complaining about their jobs.

One child gawked at the way the leaves of the forest trees whooshed when the tram passed. That child's sister gazed up at Solas, then pointed at his head. Solas knew she meant his ears, which were still proud and elven when elves were nothing but a distant relative and recessive gene pool. The child had the slightest point to her ears, which her brother did not share.

"Welcome," Solas tuned into the intercom to hear the announcements, "to Jurassic World. Please, enjoy your stay. There will be guides at the station to assist you in finding your accommodations and or family. Follow signs and notices at your disposal to ensure your stay in the park is informative and memorable." The charming voice continued on, and then droned in other languages.

The park opened up in front of the tram to reveal what would be a certainly memorable experience. Water exhibits, large pens for large predators, petting zoo pens. Most of what Solas could see was dominated by either forest or marketing. Rib'n'Veg stalls, alcoholic and specifically non-alcoholic drink bars; every sort of amenity a person could dream of. Affording it all was another matter.

The souvenirs, of which Solas could already see were littering the environment. "Buy this!" Signs yelled at him as his tram neared the station. "Your loved one deserves these!" "A woman's best friend, guaranteed!"

Solas frowned. The last century had seen a magnificent rise in visual marketing strategies. Posters, webpages, movie trailers. Everything was visual, and nothing was left to the imagination. A new dinosaur at the park ready to amaze and awe? The day before it was announced, there were pictures all over the internet.

The last creation had nearly been a disaster The Indomitable Rex had escaped and made it halfway to the population before it was taken down. The safe-guards had been the only thing able to defeat the bloodthirsty beast.

The latest craze was practically harmless, so the owners and representatives claimed. They were a new addition to the petting zoo, and kept in their own pens. They were small, and kind of creepy. It had been a very, very long time since Solas had seen one. What the people of InGen had created was not new, or even very clever.

The new addition to Jurassic World was newly bred nugs.

Solas hadn't been able to hold back a fit of laughter when he first saw the unveiling of the freshly birthed vermin. He could remember when they were as common as rabbits, or chickens. He could remember that they tasted a lot better than both of those.

At least, he'd told himself, it wasn't a damned dragon or a deepstalker. It would not surprise him if one day InGen ripped open a rift in the Veil just because they wanted to find something else to sell to children. "Hey, kids!" A cartoon version of a darkspawn would gleefully shout. "Come to the Rift to enjoy all the horrors of your nightmares come to life! Ask your parents for tickets, and before going online to view what you could see in this hellish realm!"

The tram stopped. There was shoving and half-spoken apologies as everyone tried to exit at once. Solas stood back and waited, knowing full well that he wouldn't be leaving until all the others had gone.

There was no one to greet him as he stepped into the station. There was no sign asking for Solas, or any of his aliases. The crowd of people paid no attention as he strode through, his mind drifting to the scenes he'd seen in the Fade. He'd explored the entire park before, in the minds of others.

Nothing was new to him at Jurassic World. If he hadn't wanted so badly to see the nugs with his own eyes he would not have made the venture. They were more symbolic than anything, meaning to him that his past was not lost and nor was the history of the Earth. He'd watched Thedas rise and fall, and all he had left was those stupid nugs.

Solas passed all of the food and merchandise stalls. He ignored salespersons and guides. The entire weekend was his to enjoy, and he'd be damned if he used all of his time to stare at the nugs at an attraction meant for children, but he did have a strict purpose. Those children would either move or be moved for him to see the vermin.

Oh, if those children only knew that he'd both eaten and worn different parts of those creepy little creatures. Something about the hunting of small animals always seemed to scare kids. Solas almost missed the old days when children knew where products and materials came from, instead of simply clicking 'add to cart' to have mass produced goodies sent to them.

He—almost—missed those days. But his coffee beans were from halfway around the world, his fur-trim coat didn't smell like dog every time it rained, and his car was just generally greater than any cart or nuggalope he'd ever rid.

Having access to all the information in the world in the palm of his hand was a miracle and something he would never give up.

Signs pointed him towards the petting zoo. "Come see the brand new species our scientists have newly recreated!" Pictures of nugs were all around, but they were given a different name. They had the same ugly, unmistakeable snouts.

A child ran past screaming, and Solas rolled his eyes.

There they were, though. Solas waded through the crowd. The pen was watched carefully by attendants and parents alike. Children were sitting and laughing about the silly creatures stumbling around each other.

Solas leaned against the pen, his vision narrowing on the nugs. They were all he could see. A relic of his past.

Shortly after arriving, Solas left. Nugs were not the answer. He'd tried to connect with his own past, and failed.

Those stupid nugs were the only thread still attached to the age of dragons and his time with the Inquisition.

Stupid, stupid nugs. Delicious nugs. Solas wondered how we would be rewarded for discovering that the new exhibit could also be used in the cafeterias. No one would even have to know outside the butchers.

They may as well. Not only can the scientists create nugs from the ground up, the nugs themselves could be set free to reproduce as they wished. Like rabbits, he would predict.

Nugs were just an endless food supply waiting to be harnessed.

Solas smiled as he walked away, imagining Jurassic World using nugs in their burgers. He smiled. Stupid creatures.


End file.
